I never stood a chance

I'm weak.

I'm just a puny little human.

I have low inhibitions. I only have a little bit of life force in me to resist temptations. And oh do you tempt me.

Around Every. Fucking. Corner. do you tempt me.

I never stood a chance.

The sweet. The salty. The empty calories. The delivery food that makes me feel shitty the next day.

The lobotomizing phone usage that kills my sleep and zaps me of real pleasure and joy. I never stood a chance.

I never stood a chance when I get home after a wonderful night of connecting with that special someone and turn on my computer for some mindless scripted drama that feels realer than real life.

I never stood a chance when I enter the grocery store with the best intentions to eat healthy and I walk out with a bag full of snappy pops and munchy nothings. Worse than nothings.

I never stood a chance when I open my phone to get the address of an event and I close it 10 minutes later after a haze of mindless social advertisements and pretend closeness.

I never stood a chance when I'm still on my phone, tap after dissociated tap, tragically well past my bedtime.

When will it stop? Please make it stop. Please... Please. Please! This war of addiction is robbing me and rotting me and I am weak. I'm just a puny human. I never stood a chance.